Me and Music

Hey peeps! So. Realizing something I've known my whole life. Lmao. Ever do that? Bet you have. Just never realized it... 

For instance... Today I've realized (once again) that music means do freaking much to me... it is the audio version of Hallmark. Says things you've felt but never been able to put into words... You feel me? Not yet? Okay. Give me a sec.

The song that best describes what I'm looking for long term: Wanted by Hunter Hayes:

You know I'd fall apart without you
I don't know how you do what you do
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me
Makes sense when I'm with you

Like everything that's green, girl, I need you
But it's more than one and one makes two
Put aside the math and the logic of it
You gotta know you're wanted too

'Cause I wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
Yeah, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

Anyone can tell you you're pretty, yeah
And you get that all the time, I know you do
But your beauty's deeper than the make-up
And I wanna show you what I see tonight...

When I wrap you up
When I kiss your lips.
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
'Cause, baby, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

As good as you make me feel
I wanna make you feel better
Better than your fairy tales
Better than your best dreams
You're more than everything I need
You're all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted

And I just wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted
Baby, I wanna make you feel wanted

You'll always be wanted 

Yup. Me in a nutshell. (Interesting  metaphor... started around Shakespeare times... hard exterior within which a kernel of a nut is enclosed. Used as something very briefly explained. But seriously a hard exterior for something much meatier and sweet inside... like it!)

Now other songs include "Sing" by My Chemical Romance:

Sing it out
Boy, you've got to see what tomorrow brings
Sing it out
Girl, you've got to be what tomorrow needs
For every time that they want to count you out
Use your voice every single time you open up your mouth

Sing it for the boys
Sing it for the girls
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world
Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you're nuts
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts
Sing it for the deaf
Sing it for the blind
Sing about everyone that you left behind
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

Sing it out, boy they're gonna sell what tomorrow means
Sing it out, girl before they kill what tomorrow brings
You've got to make a choice
If the music drowns you out
And raise your voice
Every single time they try and shut your mouth

Sing it for the boys
Sing it for the girls
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world
Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you're nuts
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts
Sing it for the deaf
Sing it for the blind
Sing about everyone that you left behind
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

Cleaned-up corporation progress
Dying in the process
Children that can talk about it,
Living on the railways
People moving sideways
Sell it till your last days
Buy yourself a motivation
Generation Nothing,
Nothing but a dead scene
Product of a white dream
I am not the singer that you wanted
But a dancer
I refuse to answer
Talk about the past, sir
Wrote it for the ones who want to get away

Keep running!

Sing it for the boys
Sing it for the girls
Every time that you lose it sing it for the world
Sing it from the heart
Sing it till you're nuts
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts
Sing it for the deaf
Sing it for the blind
Sing about everyone that you left behind
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

Got to see what tomorrow brings
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world
Girl, you've got to be what tomorrow needs
Sing it for the world
Sing it for the world

Very cool, huh? Let's keep going...

Not Over You by Gavin Degraw:

Dreams, that's where I have to go
To see your beautiful face anymore
I stare at a picture of you and listen to the radio
Hope, hope there's a conversation
We both admit we had it good
But until then it's alienation, I know
That much is understood
And I realize

[Chorus:]
If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you, not over you

Damn, damn girl, you do it well
And I thought you were innocent
Took this heart and put it through hell
But still you're magnificent
I, I'm a boomerang, doesn't matter how you throw me
I turn around and I'm back in the game
Even better than the old me
But I'm not even close without you

[Chorus:]
If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you

And if I had the chance to renew
You know there isn't a thing I wouldn't do
I could get back on the right track
But only if you'd be convinced
So until then...

[Chorus:]
If you ask me how I'm doing
I would say I'm doing just fine
I would lie and say that you're not on my mind
But I go out and I sit down at a table set for two
And finally I'm forced to face the truth,
No matter what I say I'm not over you
Not over you
Not over you
Not over you 

Bruises - Train/Ashley Monroe:

Haven't seen you since high school
Good to see you're still beautiful
Gravity hasn't started to pull
Quite yet I bet you're rich as hell

One that's five and one that's three
Been two years since he left me
Good to know that you got free
That town I know was keeping you down on your knees

These bruises make for better conversation
Loses the vibe that separates
It's good to let you in again
You're not alone in how you've been
Everybody loses, we all got bruises
We all got bruises

Have you seen him? Not in years
How about her? No but I hear
She's in Queens with the man of her dreams
Funny back then she said that about you

Que sera you'll never guess who I saw
Remember Johnny B remember him we were best friends practically
Let's do this soon again, ten years is that what it's been?
Can't believe how time flies by
Leaving you makes me wanna cry

These bruises make for better conversation
Loses the vibe that separates
It's good to let you in again
You're not alone in how you've been
Everybody loses, we all got bruises
We all got bruises

I would love to fix it all for you
I would love to fix you too
Please don't fix a thing whatever you do

These bruises make for better conversation
Loses the vibe that separates
It's good to know you've got a friend
That you remember now and then
Everybody loses

These bruises make for better conversation
Loses the vibe that separates
It's good to let you in again
You're not alone in how you've been
Everybody loses,everybody loses, everybody loses
We all got bruises, We all got bruises, We all got bruises

Just A Kiss - Lady Antebellum

Waiting for Superman - Daughtry

Best Day of My Life - American Authors

Dayum... I can go on and on... can't you? What songs describe you? Your feelings? Your life and what you've been through?!?! Crazy huh? So many... So, so many. 

Just something for us all to think about. I asked an artist friend what inspired him to write his music... I believe his response was something like "some of it is life, some of it is sitting around here with nothing else to do" I may be totally wing, but to me that latter says hopes and dreams of what he'd like to see happen. I dunno. It'd what it would mean to me any way...

Good night again blog. Think I'm gonna listen to some music and drift off to la la land in my own private euphoria... :-* :-* :-*

What the...

February. In Ohio. Ok, ok. It's February every where, but at 7:10pm it's 63°!!! Unseasonable weather is becoming the norm. So... does that mean if we start having cold weather in the next year or so it well be "unseasonably cold"? How long does it take to determine what seasonable is exactly? Two years? Five years? 100 years? I mean, a week ago Georgia and South Carolina had snow ice. Some places got six inches.... I'm not an expert, but I don't think they want unseasonable weather down there any more. I know I wouldn't! Lol. But, let me add this. If us having warmer weather in the winter means the south has to endure our old stuff, sorry guys... I got a used shovel I'll sell ya! ;-)

Well, well, well... Looky who's back!

Hello world! Long time no type! Actually, it's been long enough for me to say "long time no Swype!" Lol. Gotta love technology... No longer doing this from my laptop, but from my tablet. No longer do I need to type each individual letter. That, in itself, is a beautiful thang!

Many, many things; many, many people; many, many experiences; and many, many laughs, years and other emotions have passed/changed in the last many, many years. Lol. And with these changes, you shall never hear certain names reposted for the simple reason they are no longer important to either me or my life in one form or another. ;-) No animosity here, just life continuance minus a certain few. 

There is no way I could even try to catch up, but I have over the years kept a few random thoughts and feelings jotted down (in very random places, I might add. So it'll take me some time to find and post them all... but I shall do my very best to do so. Hehe)

I just went through and re read all of my previous blogs. Yep. Pretty darn random. But I've also noticed several new "randomly yours" bloggers out there. C'este la vie! 

Another thing I noticed... I seemed to be catering to a few inquisitive people (instead of just keeping it random) by telling life experiences/answering questions and naming those involved. Lol. But, even I have to admit. In telling some of my life story (which is not the original intent of this silly thing...), I get pretty darn random. Maybe it will be acceptable in some weird way. If not, who cares? Lol! this is my blog! Get your own! ;-) :-*

So now the question is where and how to re start blogging my randomness..... I do believe I'll keep it more on a personal level while still keeping it real and randomly throw in a personal, yet nameless comment where needed so that only that person will know (and myself, of course)... You know, like I always have, only different. Hahaha!

On that note, I'm getting started.

I just had a great last few days living out a song from my favorite movie of all time. "The King And I". The Yule Brenner version. Any other version pales in comparison... I mean, seriously! There are certain movies that cannot nor should not ever be remade. This is one. Could name a few more, but that's drifting from the original intent again, so more on that later. Maybe. If it pops into my random mind again... So, the song. "Getting to Know You". For those who are unfamiliar, I suggest you watch the movie, but for quick reference, here are some of the words:

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you. Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me....  
Getting to know you, getting to feel free and easy. When I am with you, getting to know what to say....

This, for me, can be a very difficult thing to do because I'm shy. (Oh, yes I am! You have no way of knowing what I'm feeling inside when I'm talking to someone new... or how long it may have actually taken to say my first hello even... Lol) But some people have the awesome ability to make this process much easier than it could have been. Thank you for that! :-*

Ok. Not gonna lie. My mind is having trouble focusing on anything right now. At my daughter's and house full of kids crying, screaming, playing... yah. Got to do this later folks. Maybe tonight. 

See ya when I do!

This Too Shall Pass...

So yeah... I'm feeling anxiously bummed about now. How could I be feeling this, you may ask? Well, in answer, I must say you just don't understand me well enough, yet...


Did you ever try to do or say the right thing and it is taken in a completely different way than intended??? I am one of those unfortunates to whom it happens all the time. Now, I prefer to call it being misunderstood, but they call it being completely wrong, or as I've often heard, "Way off base". Why is it words fail me at the most inopportune times? (gotta love spell check!) I know what I'm feeling. I know the message I want to convey. But somewhere between my emotionally charged brain and my ever overzealous mouth, something must happen... 


Up to this point in my life I have been accused of saying the wrong things at exactly the wrong times. I have been able to 'deal' with this over the years. (Argue my case until I'm blue in the face, but it is dealt with.) But now, now in these modern times of internet and computers and smart phones, I have added another conundrum to the mix. Now I not only say the wrong things at the wrong times, but in the wrong place!!! Facebook. Yes, facebook. I have now (apparently) said the wrong thing at the wrong time and I posted it on their wall for all to see! Geez. Like the world is going to see it for crying out loud! I'll bet more people read this blog than someone else's wall! And it certainly wasn't meant to be malicious or harmful in any way. It was truthful, honest, and meant to help. 


Truthful and honest. (Here we go Lex...) I have been told my entire life to tell the truth. Be honest. "Honest Abe". "You'll go to Hell for lying!" "I cannot tell a lie, Father. I cut down the cherry tree." You get the jest... I can get in more trouble in one day by telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth than anyone I know that lies all the time. Especially at work. Omg. Why is that? Hmm? Why have I been brainwashed my whole existence to tell the truth just to  have people get angry at me for doing so? I need a tattoo on my forehead that says, "Don't ask if you don't want to know". "The truth hurts" is another saying I've heard forever. But have always heard "the truth will set you free". :-/


Me thinks those who get angriest are those who are trying to cover up a lie... Or a whole string of lies maybe. And they are frustrated cuz they've worked so hard at their web of deceit just to watch it get blown away with one "gust" of truth... That's it! It has to be it! After all, it's hard to remember all those lies and keep them straight for questioning! Well, I have news for all you hard working, memory exercising liars out there: If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.  ~Mark Twain. Couldn't have said it better myself. In fact, I've quoted it several times. Good ol' Sam. He knew his sh*t.


So truth it is. Now all I have to do is work on the gossip... especially gossip which I've gotten from a known liar. 


"Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles." Proverbs 21:23

"Whoever guards his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles." Proverbs 21:23

"By patience a ruler is persuaded. A soft tongue breaks the bone." Proverbs 25:15

And on those wonderful words of truth, I bid thee good night! 

It's been a while!

Wow. So blogging turns out to be just like everything else in my life... I want to do it and mean to do it and say I'm gonna do it and... Never happens! Holy Moly. And why? Distractions! I let the silliest things distract me from what I have intended to do for the biggest part of my life.

For instance: Stevie? When on Earth are we heading back down to KY and go quadding with the cousins again??? LOL! And Lex? Why haven't you gotten me enrolled in Nursing School yet??? (oh yeah. That's on me, huh?) And China? Summer is gone and Dad and I still haven't been down for a weekend visit! And Joe? STILL haven't gotten your birthday gift to you! And Kyle? Still haven't gotten Jamie to do your Seniors!

I could go on. (oh, trust me. I can go on and on and on!) But I think I've proven my point.

I do believe I promised to tell you about my angel and my "new" career choice in this blog, so I shall quit rambling about not accomplishing things I say I'm going to do... Perhaps another blog subject!

Now then. Where was I? Oh! Barney! My first job was at the Village Ice Cream Parlor in Lebanon. I was a waitress and loved it. But I turned 18 and thought I could actually make more money elsewhere, so I left.
Got a job at Corwin's IGA, also in Lebanon. (oooo Tina! Have to do another blog on the fun we had there!) It was a good job and decent pay, but then I met my kids bio-dad and got prego and married and it just wasn't enough after all, so I headed to the Golden Lamb.
Was only 20 so I started off as a hostess in hopes of becoming a waitress after turning 21. (House rules: to serve drinks/wine ya gotta be 21 at the Lamb) 21 comes and goes and still hostessing... (but that was when Woody came in and told me about getting the part on Cheers. THAT was cool. He came in and was putting his name in for seating and he saw me in the Shaker Room and came running in and said "I got the part! I got it!" [paraphrasing. i am way the hell too old to remamber verbatum, so get over it...] and he picked me up and spun me around. I was so happy for him...) Anyways, Paula (my sis) went to Mr. Reynolds and asked him to make me a waitress. He called me into his office to talk to me about it. (ok. A little about Mr. Jack Reynolds. I had been watching him manage the Lamb for some time now and HE SCARED ME! I had seen him grab bus boys by the scruff of the neck and pull them to a dirty table. He trew dishes. He yelled and screamed. But a damn good manager...) He asked me why I wanted to be a waitress and I told him I enjoyed it and had done it for 3 yrs at the Parlor and would really appreciate the money. He dismissed me and called Paula in and said he didn't think I had the personality for it. Blam. Stuck as hostess with 2 kids and a failing marriage and now what??? Oh Yeah! I end up pregnant again! lol. One last gift before leaving Ohio for what? 10 years? Thanks for that Bio-Dad!
Hmm. 3 kids, no support, and making minimum wage... For all intensive purposes, this was NOT going to work. So I swallowed my pride, took my kids in tow, and did the unthinkable. I got on the Welfare! Seriously for a second. If I could have just thought about myself I wud have gotten a trailor somewhere and been fine. But the first moment I knew I was going to be a mom I knew I would be lost in their worlds, their needs, their wants, and their desires for as long as they lived. And Gladly too. They were my wolrd. They would never beat me or rape me or cuss me and call me a whore. They would love me and I would love them forever and always and life would be happy ever after!!! (Ok, I was a bit delusional, but it sounded good at the time...) I got assistance and Paula helped find me a cool apartment on Deerfield Rd. and we got settled. Now then. Jamie was about 1 and a half when I talked with Phyllis at the Parlor and agreed to go back part time. (I promise, we are really close to Barney now...)
So I stayed there for a few more years and my plan was to get all my babies in school full days and then find full time work somewhere. I didn't know where and didn't care. I just knew I wasn't going to raise my kids on welfare. That my friends was the most humiliated I have ever been in my life. Oh, not getting help. For that I am truly greatful. It was the hulimiation the peolple at welfare loved to delve out. Not the case workers now... The big nasty fat asses that took your name and told you to find a seat and they would let your case worker know you where there. YEAH RIGHT! After you finished your person phone call and two twinkies you enjoyed downing in front of all those kids who had nothing! And if you dare say anything? another delay. A looong one.
so. I endured this for about 3 yrs and one day Sandy asked me if I wanted to soda jerk instead of waitress. Sure! I said. So I was behind the counter and in walks Barney.
OMG! It's 10:30! I have GOT to get to sleep... Big day at work tomorrow and I really got to get in there early. Well, earlier than 8 anyways... So I promide promise Promise to start of my next blog with Barney. OK? You really are the best! Thanks so much for the ever needed patience in my rambling and random thoughts (that's where I got the name! duh...) and we will take it up right where I left off next time. I won't say tomorrow, but next time. As one of my wonderful aunt's always says:

See ya when I do!

Friday-Eve!

Bubbles. My co-worker now calls me Bubbles. Not so crazy bout that one, but not sure if it's the word itself or why he calls me bubbles that I don't like more. lol. He calls me that because he says he took a poll and I shud be put into a sound proof bubble while I work so he can work in peace or some crazy thing... Me. In a sound proof bubble of all things! How cud I possible joke, sing badly, or put Lex and he (and others) down all day in a sound proof bubble? Inconceivable! ;)


So much on my mind tonite I don't know where I mite end up going, so bare with me. Is that the right "bare"? Or is it "bear"? I do so much better when I know where sayings come from and what context they were originally used when I go to write them out... Don't you? I know! I'll google it! Be right back...

Wow! From Common Errors In English Usage Paul Brian wrote:"/"There are actually three words here. The simple one is the big growly creature (unless you prefer the Winnie-the-Pooh type). Hardly anyone past the age of ten gets that one wrong. The problem is the other two. Stevedores bear burdens on their backs and mothers bear children. Both mean "carry" (in the case of mothers, the meaning has been extended from carrying the child during pregnancy to actually giving birth). But strippers bare their bodies --sometimes bare-naked. The confusion between this latter verb and "bear" creates many unintentionally amusing sentences; so if you want to entertain your readers while convincing them that you are a dolt, by all means mix them up. "Bear with me," the standard expression, is a request for forbearance or patience. "Bare with me" would be an invitation to undress. "Bare" has an adjectival form: "The pioneers stripped the forest bare."  So "bear" it is!!! I won't get that wrong again! But not why you think... Just ain't ready for the world to see me naked! LMAO! I gotta get this book!


 I love Google. It makes my life so much easier. At work, at home, shopping, ANYWHERE! I must say it at least 5 times a week, if not more. The other search engines? Not for me. I've tried them, but the goog is just so much simpler and exact... well, most times. lol. I have found it's all for the asking...


I want another book on phrases used in the English language. I have had one for years about animal phrases and now I think I need another. And quotes! I love quotes! That comes from my 7th grade year... Mom bought Toni (my little sis) and I an Encyclopedic Dictionary. It is fabulous. It has all sorts of Dergerisms a Derger like myself can get lost in for hours... oh yeah. A Derger is well, a dork who knows a lot of shit and can randomly throw it out there whenever it's needed. (Ok Jen/Jil. I embellished a bit. I know and you know what it actually means. Let's keep it that way, hmm?)


I love learning something new. I really don't care what either. That's a terrible down fall if you think about it. When I went to college, I could have chosen absolutely any career I wanted. Anything! And I blew it on a 2 yr degree in electronics. Don't get me wrong. i've enjoyed it, but it was just a quick way to make ends meet and provide for my 3 kids since their father didn't feel the need to do so in the least (Warren County Ohio courts SUCK!) and I've done that. Now maybe it's time to go back to school... Think I will!


Above I stated about the ability to choose any career. I would like to give credit where credit is do and tell you about my angel... And I will in my next blog. Sorry, just looked at the clock and I've got the electronics job thingy to do early in the a.m., so good nite my fellow bloggers and bloggies! I've enjoyed my time with you as always! Thanks for the free therapy session! (since insurance at my electronics job has gone completely south, I certainly cannot get the therapy I used to get. lol!)


TTYL!

WOW! It's Wednesday!

So much for blogging each day... LOL! Seems like time slips by faster and faster the older I get. Isn't there a pill I can take to slow it down a notch? There are all kinds of things to speed it up. Coffee, Amp drink, 5 hour energy, and white crosses. lol. White crosses. Are those even around anymore? I knew a friend once who would pop a couple/7 of those things and clean her entire apartment in like half an hour! hahaha. I tried half a one once. Thought my heart was going to just rip out my chest and take off on it's own cuz I wasn't moving fast enuf for it. Not for me. Just give me good ol' beer or wine. But not Bud! Yuck! Give me an ice cold Heiny or Mich Ultra. Oooo, or a Michelada! Yummy! That is my absolute fave since my thyroid surgery. Can't have anything "hard" now, but a Michelada is like a bloody Mary only made with Dos Exis beer. Fabulous! (Thanks Paul for opening up a whole new drinking experience for your old Aunt Missie!)

Now, some may think cuz I'm writing about beer at 6 in the morning I think about it all the time. Not true. As the title of my blog insinuates, I have random thoughts pop up and they spill out when I least expect it. When I signed in to blog I had no idea what I was going to say. Started typing and bam! My fingers did their own thing and I haven't stopped yet. Weird, I know, but I get a great enjoyment out of speaking out to no one. LMAO!

Working with a new tech, Apple. Not her real name, but a lot of people get nick names when they start and for some reason they guys gave her Apple. Anyway, I trained her on a tester yesterday and towards the end of the day, she started singing. Guess what song? "This is the song that never ends"! I knew right then we'd get along ok. But not too close. Alas, she sees nothing in Johnny Depp... I have no time for two kinds of people. Stupid and those who cannot see the complete and total beauty of my Johhny... ;) But I do cut her some slack cuz she's only 20.

Would love to go on about stupid, but I just do not have time for it. One day maybe, but not today... I will say one thing. Unintelligent and stupid are two different things. Unintelligent cannot be helped. Stupid is the refusal to listen to other people trying to teach you something and you refuse to learn it cuz you can do it your own way "better", even though that way is not nor never has worked. Not Webster's. Just my opinion.

Ok. Looking at the clock and it's time to get rolling. Another day at work. yay. Think I'll start looking at on line courses this weekend...

TTYL!